cover of the illustrated female fighting storybook wags cat fight Cheryl Tweedy v Charlotte Church available from battle-annals

 

extract from the female illustrated storybook wags cat fight Cheryl Tweedy v Charlotte Church available form battle-annals http://www.battle-annals.co.uk/jg-artist-female-celebrities-fights-stories-page/

 

WAGS CAT FIGHT CHERYL TWEEDY V CHARLOTTE CHURCH

Most people maybe aware of the animosity even hatred between the female celebrities Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church. But I’m sure nobody knows about the cat fight they had at the swanky Landmark Hotel in London. Cheryl Tweedy a WAG wife of footballer Ashley Cole and celebrity singer with girls aloud is well renowned for her violent temper and assaults on people, also her feuds with other celebrities. She is known and reported to have running feuds with Lily Allen, Paris Hilton, and Jordan. However none of those got so far out of control as her feud with Charlotte Church which escalated into a violent catfight. Cheryl is capable of looking after herself in a fight and is not slow to use her fists and when she does she is very good with them.

Welsh celebrity Charlotte Church’s boy friend of Welsh international rugby player Gavin Henson is also well renowned for her outrageous and violent behaviour. Charlotte Church is always in the newspapers with vivid pictures of her violent and drunken behaviour, but not many people know about the catfight she had with Cheryl Tweedy. I found out from an eye witness the only witness to the violent cat fight. However before I get to their catfight at the Landmark Hotel I think I should let the readers know some of the build up and how it came about. Both Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church have been very free and vocal in the media criticising each others behaviour and artistic talent. I have listed some of the accusations rants and taunts used by both Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church.

These are some of Charlotte Church’s rants and quotes. In one amazing rant Welsh celebrity singer Charlotte Church accused Newcastle upon Tyne born Cheryl Tweedy singer and member of Girls Aloud of not being able to sing, not having her classical back ground, just a run of the mill pop singer and a poor one at that. “I have the voice of an angel”, “While she has the voice of a flat frog”. Charlotte Church stated. Church’s response was reported a calling Tweedy “A Geordie Cow”. “I’d like that love, you and me, singing competition all right? That’d be brilliant, you Geordie Cow. “Oh and don’t think I have forgotten about you being charged with aggravated assault after beating up a black female cloakroom attendant Sophie Amogbokpa”.

These are Cheryl Tweedy’s rants and quotes. Cheryl Tweedy retorted with accusing Charlotte Church of plagiarism and coping Girls Aloud style. “She can’t write anything of her own not talented enough”. Cheryl Tweedy retorted with citing Charlotte’s drunken brawling and falling out of night clubs and taxis. Cheryl Tweedy also accused Charlotte Church of being fat. Cheryl was quoted as saying “I’m sick of Charlotte Church she’s a Welsh joke” . “I think she needs the publicity that’s the reason she’s slagging me off”. “She’s so childish and disrespectful who does she think she is?” “If she wants to be a female Liam Gallagher, then she can go ahead, she is a bit of a joke”. “What about her step brother arrested for assaulting a woman I say more”. “The family are precious, ... not!”. “As for her woos of a boy friend Gavin Henson looks like aright ponce to me”. “Hi might be a rugby player but with hair dyed red”. “He clearly hasn’t heard of the saying never trust a red haired Welsh man, and he dyed to that colour I ask you”.”Also let’s not forget the photo in the Daily sport although I bet you wish we would”. “Brazenly wearing a see though white dress I ask you, its bad enough for fat Welsh cow like her”. “But what caps it all is those Bridget Jones knickers you can see underneath it”. “You could accuse her being mutton dressed as lamb in those hideous granny knickers”. “Also what a TV presenter the fat Welsh joke is punching actor Simon Greenwall on the first night of her TV show”.

You can see from these quotes and rants that there is little of no love lost between Charlotte Church and Cheryl Tweedy. The hatred anger and animosity had been building up for months. Both girls were god with their fists and good fighters and if it ever came to blows it would one hell of a catfight to watch. It did at the swanky Landmark Hotel in London and the fireworks were electric according to the eye witness report. Also believe it on not the eye witness was none other than Gavin Henson her boy friend. He gave me an account of it when he was very drunk in a Cardiff night club. It seems Charlotte Church and Cheryl Tweedy were invited to the same charity do at the Landmark Hotel in London. They arrived at different times, Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole after Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson and might not have met accept for fate.

Cheryl Tweedy excused herself to go the bathroom leaving husband Ashley Cole talking to other celebrities. As she made her way to the bathroom she overhead raised voices coming from around the corner. Curious Cheryl Tweedy rounded the corner and came across Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson arguing bitterly. They were accompanied by a couple of other Welsh Rugby stars Leigh Halfpenny and Mike Phillips who were trying to calm the situation. Several other celebrities walked by and stared at the rowing couple. Finally Leigh Halfpenny and Mike Phillips managed to break up the row and take Gavin Henson away leaving Charlotte Church fuming on her own. When Charlotte Church saw Cheryl Tweedy standing there smiling she was far from pleased.

“Seen enough yet you Geordie cow?”, Charlotte Church asked. “More than enough”, Cheryl Tweedy replied smirking. “To know you will be making the papers again another public row with you ponce of a boy friend”, Cheryl Tweedy added. “How do you work that out then?”, Charlotte Church asked hands on hips. “Because I’ll tell them you Welsh halfwit”, Cheryl Tweedy replied. “The angel voice Welsh bitch drunk again”, Cheryl Tweedy added. “Yes I can believe it”, Charlotte Church snapped.

“Just like the two faced low life Geordie cow you are”, Charlotte Church added angrily. “Where is the big ponce gone now to cry in the gents I expect?”, Cheryl Tweedy asked. “I’m not surprised your antics would make most grown men cry”, she added. “He’s not a ponce you just don’t understand style when you see it you Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church replied. “But at the moment I couldn’t care where he is”, she added. “As far away from you as is possible if he has any sense”, Cheryl Tweedy stated. “But to take up with you in the first place means he hasn’t any sense”, she added. “The last thing I want to do now is argue with you, you Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church replied trying to get by Cheryl Tweedy. “Not wanting to here the sound of your own voice I find that hard to believe you fat Welsh bitch”, Cheryl Tweedy said blocking Charlotte Church’s way. “Believe what you want Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church said still trying to get by Cheryl Tweedy. “Oh no you’re not going until you have had a few home truths from me”, Cheryl Tweedy said obstructing Charlotte Church. “I don’t have the time or patience for this”, Charlotte Church said in exasperation. “Make it because your not going anywhere till you hear me out, this has waited far too long”, Cheryl Tweedy replied.

“Come on then Geordie cow lets have these great revelations then”, Charlotte Church said. “OK where to start”, Cheryl Tweedy said. “Well you can’t sing you can’t write your own songs you have to pinch other singers’ styles”, Cheryl Tweedy stated. “Can’t sing?”, Charlotte Church asked in exasperation. “No you can’t unless it’s for your stupid Welsh choirs or eisteddfods”, Cheryl Tweedy replied. “I’m known as the girl with the voice of an angel”, Charlotte Church stated. “Yes but unlike all the other angels you are still alive”, Cheryl Tweedy replied. “Very funny for the record I don’t copy other singers’ styles”, Charlotte Church said. “I can assure you I don’t need to copy anything of yours Geordie cow”, she added. “I’m a classically trained singer not a fly by night run of the mill pop singer like you”, Charlotte Church snapped. “That’s good for you then you fat Welsh bitch”, Cheryl Tweedy replied. “Maybe you should take up opera there are openings for fat lady singers there”, Cheryl Tweedy added. “I’ve had enough of this get out of my way”, Charlotte Church said angrily pushing against Cheryl Tweedy. “No you haven’t not nearly enough its only just started”, Cheryl Tweedy said resisting Charlotte Church’s pushing. “In here should do us nicely I think”, Cheryl Tweedy said pushing Charlotte Church through a couple of double doors into an empty conference room.

While this was happening Gavin Henson had got rid of his two protecting team mates Leigh Halfpenny and Mike Phillips and was making his way back to the function room with the charity do. He didn’t really want to see Charlotte Church after their row but things would be worse if he didn’t. As he came back to where he though he’d left Charlotte he couldn’t see her so he carried on down the corridor. As he got to a bend in the corridor he could hear her voice coming from round the corner. She was arguing with another woman, he waited and listened and realised it was her arch enemy Cheryl Tweedy. One reason Gavin liked Charlotte was for her violent temper. Not being on the end of it but he liked seeing other women on the end of it, he enjoyed seeing Charlotte brawling with other women. He poked his head round the corner slyly. He could now hear and see their argument and realised that was getting more heated with more insults exchanged. He wondered, no hoped it would end in a scrap as both women were renowned for their tempers and violent attacks on others. It was getting that way Gavin thought as he peered round the corner and saw Cheryl Tweedy push Charlotte Church through the doors into the empty conference room. Gavin had always been a cat fight fan although he never told Charlotte or anyone else for that matter. Gavin had always hoped that Charlotte’s feud with Cheryl Tweedy would end in a cat fight and now it looked like it was.

Cheryl Tweedy bundled Charlotte Church through the doors into the empty conference room. They closed with a bang behind them but the right open opened a little and stayed like that, Gavin Henson had pushed it open and held it ajar with his foot just enough to see what went on inside. “OK now we can settle things properly you fat Welsh cow”, Cheryl Tweedy said as she pushed Charlotte Church into the middle of the room. “I don’t know about settling things”, Charlotte Church replied. “But I am going to settle you for good Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church added pushing back. Gavin Henson watched them push each other back and forth across the room but they slowly and surely moved towards the middle. “Don’t push me you fat Welsh bitch”, Cheryl Tweedy pushing and jostling with Charlotte Church. “I’ll do more that push you Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church jostling with Cheryl Tweedy. When they both got into the middle of the floor they both pushed and moved apart, the fight seemed to stop, action temporarily suspend as they panted glaring at each other.

Gavin Henson peered through the door at Charlotte Church and Cheryl Tweedy standing in the middle of the empty conference room glaring daggers at each other. Gavin stared at both panting angry women in turn. Cheryl Tweedy was a brunette with brown eyes she was wearing a black top and short red tartan kilt with calf length black socks and black patent shoes. He also knew she had on a pair of black knickers on under her kilt as it had flipped up as she pushed and jostled with Charlotte Church. Charlotte Church he knew was a honey blonde with blue eyes. She wore the same racy dress she had been photographed in the Daily Sport. I was white silk and virtually see-through, it reached down halfway down her thighs.

Gavin could make out Charlotte Church’s large white silk panties underneath similar if not the same as she wore for the Daily Star photo opportunity. Gavin couldn’t understand why she was wearing them both again one very evocative the other stunningly unsexy. That’s what their argument come blazing row had been about. She had finished her outfit if you could call it that with ankle length white boots.

Charlotte Church and Cheryl Tweedy looked each other up and down as they glared angrily at each other. “My god you’re not wearing that again I though it was joke or you’d lost a bet when it was featured in the Daily Sport”, Cheryl Tweedy said shaking her head in disbelief. “No way not those old big Bridget Jones granny knickers as well”, she added contemptuously. “You look bad enough inmost things but really frumpy and unsexy in those you stupid fat Welsh cow”, Cheryl Tweedy sneered. “Pots and kettles come to mind Geordie cow, what the hell are you supposed be in the kilt and top”, Charlotte Church replied. “A scotch harlot”, she added. “You shouldn’t wear tartan you’re not a Celt you’re English not Scottish or Welsh and you shouldn’t cheapen or disgrace the Celtic heritage”, Charlotte Church she hissed angrily. “I’m going to kill you fat stuck up Welsh bitch, if anyone cheapens the Celtic heritage it’s you in that stupid whorish dress and big granny knickers”, Cheryl Tweedy shouted. “I’ll show you just what the English do to and have done for so long now to the blessed Celts Welsh or Scottish”, she added her face white with anger. “I’m going to kill you, you ignorant English Geordie cow and strike a blow for Wales the Celtic nation”, Charlotte Church snapped angrily. “These Welsh fists are going to punch your stupid English Geordie cow face in”, Charlotte Church added cocking both her fists. “Try it and see how far you get”, Cheryl Tweedy replied. “These English fists are going to knock you out you fat Welsh bitch”, Cheryl Tweedy added raising her own fists.

Gavin Henson watched Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church’s heated argument get hotter and more enraged as they swapped insults about each others clothes. He had to agree with Cheryl Tweedy over Charlotte’s choice of clothes for the evening. He had hated seeing her like that in the Daily Sport. The see-through dress was OK, not that anyone liked seeing their girl friend like that in a national newspaper particularly not the Daily Sport. But he accepted it as the price to pay for dating a celebrity and being a celebrity himself. The old big Bridget Jones granny knickers was another matter though they were hideous, unsexy and did nothing for image. Cheryl Tweedy was right in that score. He quite liked Cheryl Tweedy’s attire particularly her black knickers he’d only caught a glimpse of them but they were so much more sexy looking than Charlotte’s old big Bridget Jones granny knickers. “Yes let’s see it”, Gavin said to himself in anticipated excitement at Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church threatened to punch each other stupid their firsts raised ready. He knew both of them were good with their fists and he was about to witness a tough and exciting cat fight.

“Give me you best shot Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church said inviting Cheryl Tweedy to try and punch her. Then without warning or waiting for Cheryl Tweedy to respond Charlotte Church threw a right punch at Cheryl Tweedy’s head. Cheryl Tweedy only just managed to block the punch with her left forearm. She stepped back dodging the follow up left from Charlotte Church and hit back with right jab of her own right between Charlotte Church’s fists catching her on the chin. Charlotte Church staggered back her fists still raised shaking her head. “Is that one good enough for you, you fat Welsh bitch?”, Cheryl Tweedy asked. “I’ll take your head off for that Geordie cow”, Cheryl Tweedy replied angrily. Charlotte Church came on fiercely aiming left and right jabs at Cheryl Tweedy’s head. Cheryl Tweedy kept her guard high blocking the attack as she retreated, then took a left jab to her right cheek and a right uppercut to the chin. The blows made Cheryl Tweedy reel backwards with Charlotte Church dogging her every step. Charlotte Church aimed more left and jabs at Cheryl Tweedy’s retreating head. Somehow Cheryl Tweedy managed to keep her guard together as he fell back blocking Charlotte Church’s follow up blows. “This is going to be your lesson in how to fight Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church said as she forced Cheryl Tweedy to retreat under a hail of jabs.

“Don’t worry, I already know how to fight”, Cheryl Tweedy replied blocking several left and right jabs to her head. Cheryl Tweedy then shot a right jab through Charlotte Church’s fists again catching her on the left cheek snapping her head round. Charlotte Church gasped in shock as she took the right jab to her left cheek it snapped her head round and stopped her attack in its tracks. “Was that as good as the first?”, Cheryl Tweedy asked. “How about this?”, she added catching Charlotte Church in the right eye with a let jab. “I’ll kill you for that Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church said angrily lashing out with her fists. Cheryl Tweedy was forced to defend herself again her forearms pummelled by Charlotte Church’s fists. As Charlotte Church threw punches at Cheryl Tweedy her short see through white dress lifted up uncovering her large old fashioned looking white panties. Cheryl Tweedy’s arms whirled in defence battling to keep Charlotte Church’s jabs out causing her short kilt to fly up exposing her black knickers.

“You’re going down Geordie cow”, Charlotte Church added aiming a hard right jab straight for Cheryl Tweedy’s nose. Cheryl Tweedy just managed to deflect it slightly with her forearm and the jab grazed her right temple. She instantly responded with a right upper cut of her own getting it under Charlotte Church’s extended guard to catch her square under the chin. Charlotte Church groaned as the uppercut caught her under the chin.

The blow lifted Charlotte Church off her feet causing her short see through white dress to lift right up completely exposing large old fashioned looking white panties.

The telling punch sent her stumbling back and she fell heavily on her bum. Charlotte Church sat on the carpet legs apart exposing the crotch of her large old fashioned looking white panties. “See no lesson required for me at least you fat stuck up Welsh bitch”, Cheryl Tweedy sneered as she stood over Charlotte Church as she stared up angrily at her. “What finally nothing to say you big mouth Welsh wind bag?”, Cheryl Tweedy asked.

When the female fists started to fly Gavin Henson was in his element. He enjoyed seeing Cheryl Tweedy land the first punch to Charlotte’s chin. Even more Charlotte’s angry counter attack scoring a jab to Cheryl Tweedy’s left cheek and an uppercut to her chin that sent her retreating. Gavin was impressed with Cheryl Tweedy as she kept her guard together as she fell back under constant attack from Charlotte’s fists. It definitely looked like Charlotte had Cheryl Tweedy on the run. He loved her sneer about giving Cheryl Tweedy a lesson in how to fight, particularly the ‘Geordie cow’ jibe. He watched Charlotte continue to force Cheryl Tweedy back under a relentless attack from her fists. He enjoyed seeing both women’s underwear as they swaying movements lifted their shorts dresses up. Charlotte’s short see through dress would uncover her large old fashioned looking white panties. Cheryl Tweedy’s short kilt would fly up giving him short excited glimpses of her sexy black knickers.

“I reckon Charlotte has Cheryl Tweedy”, Gavin sighed not wanting the cat fight to end too quickly. He was sure Charlotte was right when she said, “You’re going down Geordie cow”. The hard right aimed at Cheryl Tweedy’s nose looked sure to connect and was as surprised as Charlotte when Cheryl Tweedy somehow managed to deflect it, turning the killer blow into alight grazing blow to her head. He was even more surprised as was Charlotte Cheryl Tweedy countered with a right upper cut that put Charlotte on her backside. Gavin enjoyed Cheryl Tweedy’s sneer, “See no lesson required for me at least you fat stuck up Welsh bitch”. Their cat fight had started well Gavin only hoped it would continue so or hopefully get even better.

By Friar Battle-annals Copyright 2010

This a the start of a longer female celebrity fight story it has several colour illustrations by the artist JG

Full version featuring the full fight is available from www.battle-annals.co.uk

cover of posh cat fight chronicles part 1 illustrated female fighting storybook available from battle-annals

 

exrract from the female illustrated fighting storybook posh spice cat fight chronicles part 1 available from battle annals http://www.battle-annals.co.uk/jg-artist-female-celebrities-fights-stories-page/

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